Inspiration & Degeneration

More of one, less of the other, please.

My grandparents and me, 1985ish

My Papaw drove a VW Bug. Strangely, I don’t remember what color - yellow or orange, maybe? - but in my mind’s eye I can see him driving it up the hill to my grandparents house and parking it under the mimosa trees. The little car suited him, I think. Small and compact, like him. Hardworking and uncomplicated, like him.

How did we end up in a country where people are so vicious to each other? I’m thinking a lot about that lately. How can I not when it’s in our faces every day. I’m thinking about how our leaders are failing us. In my life, up until the mid-2010’s, our leaders were, for the most part, civil to each other and about each other. Oh yeah, there were disagreements about policy, vision but they didn’t generally call each other names and regurgitate edited sound bites, that are easily fact checked, and lie about context. I remember the first time I heard a very public, very blatant and ugly public statement from a “leader” that shocked me. It was during a 2009 Barack Obama speech to Congress - “You lie!” I’m pretty sure I gasped. If not, I’m gasping now just remembering it. In my mind, that was the beginning of the exponential downward spiral we are in now with no end in sight.

So as I’m ruminating on the sorry state of affairs in our country right now, a memory popped into my head about my Papaw. But, before I tell you the memory, I want to say more about him. About how gentle his voice was, how I never heard him raise it in anger, never. About how he never lectured others or boasted about himself. About the pure open joy of his laugh - I can hear it now. How I can still feel his hug if I think real hard - the warmth coming from his flannel-shirted arms and chest. How he churned the ice cream bucket in the backyard while we watched, anticipating the first cold blitz of vanilla goodness on our tongues.

After my Papaw retired, he began doing much of the housework, which was unusual for a man in the 1970s, but I never thought to ask why. Maybe he thought Mamaw needed a break from a lifetime of housework - that would be just like him. I’m sure she still did some, though, as well as all the cooking - she was an excellent cook but that’s a story for another day. His one vice, if you could call it that, was that he loved to watch “As the World Turns”, a soap opera, every day. Mamaw would gently tease him about that.

Me on my grandparents porch, 1977ish

So, the memory that popped up was something I heard said at his funeral. He worked for the Mississippi Hiway Department and I don’t mean indoors behind a desk. .One of his co-workers spoke at the funeral and said he never heard my Papaw say a bad word about anyone in all the years they worked together and that he was the only person he could say that about. When I thought about it, it was true. I, too, never heard my Papaw say a bad word about anyone. Not saying he was perfect, but how wonderful it is to leave that legacy. How wonderful to lead by example.

I’ll be happy when this year is over, whatever it brings. I only hope - pray - we all don’t have a collective breakdown.