Why Do We Love What We Love?

An eclectic list

Photo by me - I love caladiums

Most things we love have both of these “something mores,” we see the love object as connecting us with another person and we see it as part of our identity. —- Quora

For no good reason this thought came into my head the other day: Why do we love what we love? Although it’s probably because Valentine’s Day was coming up, it wasn’t a question about romantic love but a question about why we love the tangible things we love. Like our homes, the accoutrements of our hobbies, things we collect, food. I Googled it which brought up article after article about romantic love but only the above quoted article about why we love the things we love. But that one sentence makes perfect sense; that the objects of our love connects us to others and to our own identities. I had never given it much thought before but, thinking about it, there are a few things I know for sure:

I love everything about nature because I was taught about flowers, birds, the woods and it’s creatures as a small child. So I think I connect all those things with the love and security I felt at that time and, by continuing to observe and spend time in it, my love and appreciation for the natural world grew.

I love photography because it’s mindful, it slows you down. I particularly like photographing small things or small parts of big things in the natural world (see above.) My first camera was a Polaroid Land Camera and I photographed as many landscapes as I did people. I still have it. I’ve tried to donate it over the years but I end up taking it out of the donation box every time. It feels like an early part of me, a piece of the foundation for who I am - someone who looks for the small things that really aren’t so small.

Photo by me: I love heart shapes in nature.

I love watching nature, archaeology, and anthropology documentaries. I mentioned in a past post that watching National Geographic documentaries as a kid was a real treat because they came around so seldom. If you missed the show, you missed it. There was no DVR, there was no cable TV, there was no steaming. Those documentaries took me visually to exotic places far from my small American piece of earth. I loved learning the secrets of the natural world. I was fascinated by how people in other cultures & countries live and how they lived hundreds of years ago. It all still fascinates me.

I love books. Not only reading them but how they feel in my hands, how they smell, the covers and bindings. I remember pretending to read before I knew how, then how exciting it was when I did learn. Books take you out of yourself into worlds you never knew existed.

I love hand-made quilts, their beauty, the dedication and work in their creation, the history behind their creation, their practicality and thriftiness. I love how quilt-making has historically been a woman’s activity, connecting women through quilting bees into a community of sisterhood. I have a small collection and I love every one of them. Here is a wonderful website about quilt making including historical accounts and pictures.

And a few other random objects I love:

1. The first gift my now-husband gave me - a diamond necklace. It has a quite unique setting and I was completely surprised when he gave it to me.

2. Amethyst teardrop earrings my mother gave me. She gave me many things in my life but these earrings are so her and so me.

3. A miniature perfume bottle of Evening in Paris perfume in a velvet pouch that belonged to my Step Grandmother. It’s at least 60 years old and still smells. I rememeber looking at it on her bureau, so tiny and beautiful. She gave it to me the last time I saw her.

4. A few bits of raw turquoise that belonged to my Grandfather - he was a rock hound. Also, his leather coin purse. I didn’t really know him but I’m glad my mother gave me these things of his.

5. Letters and cards from my Grandmothers & Aunts and love letters from my now-husband that he wrote to me when we were dating. There’s not much in life as sweet as old hand-written letters from loved ones.

6. All the old photographs I have of family and friends, pre-digital age, that I can hold in my hands. Photos on a screen can’t compare, just can’t. This is my favorite photo of my husband and me when we were first married that became damaged over the years. I keep it in every one of my journals, moving it from the old into the new. The damage doesn’t make it any less precious.

I love(d) every pet I ever had - and there have been many. Recently I found a prose poem (or something) that I wrote in 2010 about one of our rescue cats. I don’t think I’d read it since I wrote it because it was way down in my Google Drive and I felt like I was reading it for the first time. I thought I’d share it today:

11/23/10 - the old grey cat has died. we rescued him from a life on the streets. he was old even then, had a stinky, leaky ear and walked like a seasick land lubber on a boat in a storm. we suspected he was wounded in a fight while prowling after The Ultimate Catnip and was prepared to die sated. but we didn't let him die. we fed him wonder drugs in cat food and milk and he grew stronger. when he was well we found he really wasn't well at all - he was FIV positive which granted him a life-long room of his very own in our home with Floyd who was also FIV positive. we called him Grey because he was and it suited his solid and steady presence. he was a street cat who loved us for all the rest of the years of his life - he never forgot who took him in and he loved us til the day he died.

4 year old me with a different grey cat.

Places I love: the Mississippi woods and my family’s homes among them, my own house and garden where I’ve lived for 44 years, the memory of my grandparents house in Edinburg, Mississippi, the memory of my grandparents house in Alamogordo, New Mexico, the memory of my step-grandparents house in Bellaire, Ohio, the lush Botanical Garden in City Park New Orleans, the beautiful white sand beaches of the Gulf Coast, the open road to someplace new.

Granny’s house, Alamogordo, NM

I love all kinds of music and listen to it every day. Every couple has a song that’s special to them. This is ours.

Happy Valentine’s Day! ❤️